I am a full time agent.  This is my chosen career.  I love what I do and always strive to become better at it.  Yet as I work with other agents, I sometimes run across those that make me say “What the h-e-double hockey sticks?”

So in the interest of the public good, my friend from ActiveRain, Lisa Heindel, conducted a poll of professional REALTORs® across the country, asking them to finish the statement “You might need a new agent if…”. Here are the responses she compiled during her completely unscientific survey. Some are sad, some are funny, and some are all to common, but they point to why you need to do a little research before choosing your REALTOR®.

You Might Need a New Agent If….

• Your agent doesn’t have a lockbox key to actually get you into the homes you want to see. That’s OK, you don’t mind working your appointments around the schedules of the 12 different listing agents that have to meet you and let you into the houses while secretly rolling their eyes at your agent, do you?
• Your agent thinks using email is “high tech” or they only check it once a week. That whole email thing is just a passing fad anyway, right?
• Your agent doesn’t have a website or blog that provides you with good, local information about buying or selling a home. See email explanation above.
• Your current agent answers every single question with “I don’t know…”. There is a reason they are wearing that giant name tag on their lapel.
• Your agent doesn’t know how to fill out the standard real estate forms without asking for help…from the agent on the other side of the sale. However, I’m sure that other agent has only your best interests at heart when advising them how to structure your counter offer. You’ll be fine. Really.
• Your agent forgot to send your accepted contract to the lender or title company resulting in a delay of the closing. What do you mean you already hired the movers?
• Your agent doesn’t keep up on changing regulations and is surprised that they can’t do something the way they’ve been doing it for years. What with all of the time they spend scheduling appointments, they can’t be expected to keep up with ALL of those changes, can they?
• There are no photos of your house online, or there is just that one of the front. Truly, your house looks great in that picture that was taken from their car…at dusk…in the rain…with their cell phone.  Based on that one grainy shot, I’m sure the buyers will be beating a path to your door.
• Your listing in the MLS is full of errors. You mean you don’t actually have 6 bedrooms and a pool for $99,000?
• You find yourself looking at kitchens when you can’t even afford the toaster. But I’m sure it’s a ton of fun spending all of your spare time looking at beautiful homes that you can’t buy. Didn’t your mom tell you that disappointment builds character?
• Your agent doesn’t own a fax machine, a camera or any of the other tools of the trade. Fred Flintstone called and he wants his stone tablet back.
• You are always calling other agents about properties because your agent is busy. Remember, their motto is “You Are Number 1  214”
• Your agent doesn’t answer their cell phone or only returns calls at specific times of day. If 10 or 2 doesn’t work for you, there’s always tomorrow. It wasn’t important, was it?
• Your current agent has a “real” full time job and can only show you houses on their lunch hour and after work. Psst….this IS a real job.
• You are emailing other agents asking if your agent’s behavior is normal. Now that’s just scary.
• Your agent seems to enjoy controversy, whether with you or the agent on the other side. Selling or buying a house isn’t stressful enough, is it?  Don’t you want more drama in your life?

These are true life occurrences.  The names of the guilty have been deleted, otherwise this post would have been way too long.  If you are an agent reading this and recognize yourself.  Call me.  We need to talk!